How My Eat-Pray-Love (Myself) Journey Transformed Me
In January, I decided to embark on an Eat-Pray-Love (myself) journey. I felt my healing had hit a plateau, and that I lost myself in a string of unhealthy relationships. And, well, nothing changes if nothing changes. Six months later, I feel like I’ve woken up from a coma. I became the Phoenix rising out of the ashes. I walked through the fire, and faced and released a multitude of fears. I tested my own limits, traveled far and wide, emotionally, and physically (seven countries). I sat with Ayahuasca and other plant medicines, a handful of times, and stuck with the “dieta” in preparation and in integration.
And it was within traversing these trials and tribulations, and magnificent realizations, that I finally met and truly fell in love with myself. I was reminded of who I am at my core, on a soul level - I am a celestial goddess. A powerful being of light and love whose purpose is to ignite others, and to gently help them heal themselves. I am a vibrant wounded warrior and medicine woman. And just like the rest of us, a spiritual being having a human experience.
I took accountability for where I’ve been responsible in my own disharmony. I released and forgave myself for misaligned patterns, beliefs, relationships, attachments, anxieties, fears, old wounds, intergenerational trauma, pain, codependency, fawning, dis-ease, guilt, shame, pain, samskaras and weight that literally wasn’t mine to bare, or hold on to. I continue to release anything that isn’t of my highest vibration.
In letting this go, I created more space for divine love, expansion, health, ease, abundance, nourishment, boundaries, magic/ miracles, self-effulgence, curiosity, harmony, wisdom, compassion, understanding, radiance, peace, balance, healing, joy, laughter, intuition, trust, gratitude, hope, beauty, grounding, brightness, community, creativity, power, AND anything else supportive of my highest frequency.
Anything I seek outside of myself, already exists within. I am my own soulmate. This is something I intellectually understood, but didn’t believe until now. I am truly enough. I am everything and nothing. I am the universe.
I feel myself advancing because I’m no longer being bogged down by low-vibrational patterns and attachments. For the first time in my life, my stomach doesn’t drop when I think about the past, or obsess over the future. I am happily untethered, and living and relishing in the present. I trust that the universe has my back, and will provide me with what will only evolve me. Things don’t happen to me - they happen FOR me. I finally understand what equanimity feels like in the mind, body and spirit when I am faced with anything less-than. I have a choice in how I respond to and support my human experience, and that’s amazing.
I hold a lot of gratitude in knowing that this healing and reprogramming naturally, and organically lends itself to a positive ripple effect. When we heal ourselves, we heal each other. We heal the world. To quote Rumi, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
