I woke up thinking it was all a dream. Being able to talk again, and leaving today. We had to be up at 4AM for our 4:45 final chanting. While getting ready in the bathroom, we kept celebrating that this was our last sitting together. When we got to the hall, it was pure silence for about 15-20 minutes before the chanting even began, which was another 15-20 minutes After that, we had our final video discourse. Goenka spoke of the importance of continuing and nurturing our practice. One hour in the morning and evening. Yeahhhno, sorry Goenka. He spoke of protecting the tree we’ve just begun to sprout, by putting a fence around it. Protect the mastery and purification of the mind, and nurture it with compassion. No one can harm your tree, because none of these beliefs can offend any person, religion or practice. When we were free to go, we spent time cleaning our rooms and I finally texted my parents and partner that I was excited to see them. Apparently, my partner woke up at 3:30 AM to take the train from San Diego to Orange County to drive my parents, since my car was at their place. Both my hallmate and I were late to get to breakfast, because we shared the same sentiments on the taste. When we finally showed up, I expressed my gratitude to the kitchen server, since she did so much and always with a smile on her face. I spoke with some of the students before it was time for us to clean the communal areas. I got to clean the meditation hall, which was maybe one of the easier jobs? I enjoyed it. After that, we took pictures of the center and of each other.

I woke up at 4 AM this morning - woo! I then fell back asleep. Oops. It’s getting colder and colder outside. So glad I found this weird bleached jacked in the Extra Clothes closet. At breakfast, I ate my light snack and as I stared outside, I thought, has anyone studied Vipassana as a detox or rehab method for addiction? I know I am already feeling the benefits, and know it could surely work miracles on others. I walk my four rounds while admiring the fiery sunrise before morning meditation. Meditation is smooth for the most part, but some drama seems to happen when I hear one of the ladies in the back walking about. After about ten minutes, I hear the teacher telling the manager to check on her, and about another ten minutes later she brings her back in. The teachers are always taking notes as we meditate, and I can hear them whispering things to the managers. This makes me nervous, because I keep thinking it’s me that’s the problem. For example, I use peppermint essential oils to help my neck pain as I meditate and to keep me awake. I just assume they are going to call me out for being too strong smelling. Or perhaps, I am rocking again or being too loud. But so far, except for on Sunday (Day 4) they haven’t called me out for doing anything wrong.

I yet again woke up at 2 AM. I suppose my body doesn’t need as much sleep, since I am sitting all day. I force myself back to sleep and awoke with everyone else at 4 AM. My appetite is getting worse and worse. I barely had more than a few bites of my cereal. Note to self. I do not like rice milk. I figured I would make up for the missed calories at lunch. I make a few rounds at the trail today. I notice one of my hallmates wearing a Pilgrimage of the Heart shirt, and realize, holy shit, I’ve taken her class before. Small world.  I only brought sandals with me (grrrreat idea), and there were no shoes in my size to borrow from the communal closet. So I’m just being salty, because I can only go so fast before the sand buries my feet underneath like quicksand. Forced mindful walking, I guess. The sunrise never gets old. There is a woman here who looks super unhappy, and I sometimes see her talking to herself. I know we aren’t supposed to smile at each other, but I tried when we both went for the sunflower seeds at the same time, and she wasn’t having it.